Third Trimester Blues

I have seen a lot of articles discussing post delivery blues, which can sometimes turn into Postpartum depression but not many on the third trimester blues. Which I think I have been experiencing lately. My original intent with this blog was to post at least weekly detailing my experience in the last trimester as first time mom. But unfortunately that hasn’t happened. Because honestly the past few weeks have been a little overwhelming.

Today, I am officially 39 weeks, and it looks like I may go past my due date 😦 which is July 19th. As of right now, I have not dilated and my cervix just started thinning. Also, at my doctor’s appointment today my Ob was able to feel her head through my cervix which means she dropped. But there is no telling when she will come, I am trying to remain optimistic that she will come by her due date. But at the latest, she will come some point during 41 weeks by induction.

Back to my baby blues, lately I have just been feeling overwhelmed and a little stressed preparing for my future. Some of these stressors include:

  1. Not being prepared (I still don’t have daycare for her or much savings.)
  2. What if I am a bad parent? (Have I done enough to nurture her as she grows inside me? How do I make sure she has a good childhood?)
  3. How do I prepare for my unknown future? (I have no idea what’s going to happen with this big life change?)
  4. What are my future goals for myself that will enable me to give her the life she deserves? (i.e. career, family situation, schools, and where we should live)
  5. When will I deliver this baby? (She seems quite comfortable in here! LOL)

Obviously having all this on my mind has had me pretty stressed out, and feeling kind of stuck. Hence why I haven’t posted in a few weeks. I do hope to become more consistent. Have any other moms experienced this? And if so, how did you get through it?

38 weeks preggo
An updated picture of me from yesterday, 6/11/17. Today I turned 39 weeks 6/12/17

Happy Mother’s Day…To Me?!

memothersday2
Celebrating Mother’s Day (34 weeks pregnant, 8 1/2 months)

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I found myself plagued with one question. Actually I had this question all week leading up to that day. Can I actually celebrate mother’s day? And when do women actually become mothers? If you ask my boyfriend, I am not a mother until I give birth to our daughter. But I feel like I’m a mother already, and this is why.

  1. I am carrying my child! Mothers carry, grow, nurture, and feed their children especially when they are in the womb.
  2. I have already given up things I enjoyed to grow a healthy baby! These include; bottomless brunches with mimosas included, intense cardio (because it makes me dizzy), and my body (no more fit body with small waist).
  3. I think about her and future daily. I want to have everything she needs to have everything she needs to be healthy and happy.
  4. Everything I do is for her. Since deciding to keep my child (see first blog post) everything I do is for her and preparing for her. Some of this includes; the food I eat, how much money I spend, even determining my future plans and goals include her.
  5. I have this ridiculous love for her and we haven’t met yet.

In my opinion, the above points mean that I should celebrate and be celebrated on Mother’s Day as an actual mother…because I am. But since there is no consensus on whether you are actual mother when you’re pregnant versus giving birth, I decided to celebrate Mother’s Day with my mom and Soon-To-Be Mother’s Day with myself. It was great, we made brunch for my mother and I relaxed all weekend with my dog (no distractions from the outside world until church and brunch).

What do you feel about Mother’s Day and celebrating? Are you only considered a mom once you have an actual child to hold in your arms?

family
Me, my sister, and mom (left to right) on Mother’s Day.

 

Note to my unborn child (my daughter) Part 1

To my ladybug:

A lot has been on my mind since finding out I was having you from fear, to worry, to happiness, excitement, questioning the unknown, and feeling regret. Feeling unsure if I made the right decision and what’s going to happen next. This is all so scary for your mommy and I don’t know what to do. But there are a few things I don’t have confused, and that is the type of mom I want to be for you. Because you are my daughter, I desire to be a good strong mom, and role model for you. As your mom I would like to help you:
1. Be strong
2. Not be afraid

3. Not to question yourself

4. Follow your desires 

5. Follow your heart

6. Live your best life

7. Do not judge

8. Give love freely

9. Make sure you’re respected

10. Don’t let anyone stop you from achieving your goals

 11. Love yourself

12. Never give up

13. Believe in yourself 

14. Have no fear because you’ve got this

While reading this, these sound like affirmation mantras and possibly this message is more me than you. Because I can show you better than I can tell you. I will love your forever, and can’t wait to meet you (49 days left).

Your Mom (Below is the 32 week sonogram, the placenta is in her face which is why it is distorted)

How I survived and enjoyed a trip to Paris in my 3rd trimester (international travel, baby moon)

My goal with this blog was to post weekly, but last week I missed the chance because I was in Paris! So this week I hope to post two different blogs. This will discuss my experience traveling from DC to Paris in my third trimester (30 weeks to be exact).

As I stated before, last week April 14-17th I had the opportunity to visit Paris for the first time, and it was an amazing trip. It went way better than I anticipated. I was honestly very nervous and apprehensive about this trip, because I am so far along in my pregnancy and it’s suggested that we travel in the second trimester. However, after speaking with my doctor and understanding that both myself and the baby were healthy I decided to take the risk.

Before discussing how I prepared and had a successful trip, I want to discuss how this trip was planned. This was actually a couple’s trip that included myself and my boyfriend, his best friend and wife. His wife found a really good deal on Groupon for a 4 night 5 day package to Paris, France at a really good price. When she sent it to us, we initially were unsure about the trip because I knew I would be in my third trimester, and I was unsure how traveling 12 hours would affect my body. So before deciding I consulted with my OB and he informed me that travel is fine up to 34 weeks, and I would be 30 weeks during the trip. So we agreed and trip preparation began. Some of the issues I faced when preparing for the trip were (1) the flight left from JFK, so getting to JFK in New York from DC (2) how to prepare my body for approximately 12 hours of travel (3) dealing with the size of my growing body/belly before and during the trip and (4) keeping myself and the baby as healthy as possible before and during the trip. Below I will list some of the steps I took to ensure I had a successful and fun trip.

How I prepared for my trip:

  1. Booked a flight from DC to JFK, instead of driving (because the amount times we would have stopped so I could pee would have been ridiculous).
  2. Purchased travel insurance for the flight to JFK and Paris, in case I was physically unable to participate in the trip.
  3. Continued teaching my Body Works classes, but incorporated 20-30 minutes of stretching 3-4 times a week to assist with keeping my muscles relaxed and loose.
  4. I tracked my weight using Myfitnesspal to ensure that I gained a healthy amount of weight, without overdoing it so hopefully I wouldn’t be heavy for my trip (carrying around this extra weight is tough!).
  5.  I started taking low dose aspirin (80mg) 7 days prior to the trip to prevent blood clotting (doctor’s orders). This continued throughout the trip until I returned home.
  6. I purchased support tops from Blanqi that lift the belly and provide lower back support for walking and exercising.
  7. I also purchased compression leggings, and socks for the flights to prevent swelling.
  8. A day before and throughout the trip, I drank a gallon to gallon and a half of water a day to prevent swelling, braxton hicks contractions, and hopefully alleviate a need to go to an international hospital. Hahahahaha
  9. During the trip, I drank only bottled water and made sure everything I ate was hot. I also stayed away from seafood just in case it was not cooked correctly.
  10. Lastly, and most important I listened to my body. We did A LOT of walking while we were in Paris, at least 10 miles a day. There were times where I felt a little light-headed, nauseous, or exhausted. During those times, I ate, sat down, or decided I was finished for the day returned to our hotel and rested.

All of these steps helped to prepare and ensure that I had a successful and enjoyable trip. Please note  that following these steps may not help everyone have a good vacation during 3rd trimester, but it helped me.

What are some things other people did who traveled in their 3rd trimester? 

My decision to become a mom 

The purpose of this blog is to be somewhat of an online diary, as I navigate my third trimester of pregnancy as well my journey back into fitness. So I figured my first blog should discuss my decision to become a mom.
To begin, I honestly never wanted to be mom. I am the oldest of three kids and we each have extremely large age gaps. Currently, I am 34 years old, my brother is 22 years old (12 years younger than me), and my sister is 15 years old (18 years younger than me). Additionally, a majority of my life my mother was a single parent which left me doing a lot of babysitting since I was so much older. As a result, I decided children were too much work, took up to much time and money, and I had no interest in those types of inconveniences in my life. I decided my life would be much better without them. Along with not wanting kids, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be married…I always had this vision of myself of being this savvy rich business woman who had dates with younger men and lived a happy single life by my own rules.

Then I turned 25, from 25-30 years old my whole vision for life and my needs changed. I decided I wanted a family and wanted to get married. Heck I ended an engagement with a guy because he wasn’t sure he wanted more kids. I even lived in a family oriented community, that I navigated daily watching the families live wonderful lives day-dreaming about the day I would have my own.

But then I turned 30, and a different reality hit me. After years of failed relationship attempts, and hoping for a family I realized maybe that wouldn’t actually be my life and became comfortable being single. I was enjoyed my life, hanging out with friends, spending time with family…pretty much doing whatever I wanted to do in my life. And honestly it was great.

And somehow almost 3 years ago (5/2014) a friend convinced me to join plenty of fish, which is where I met the person I am currently dating. My life hasn’t been the same since we met in person. Unlike men I had feelings for in the past, he proved himself to be different than anyone else I’ve ever dated he was and continues to be consistent, reliable, dependable, into me, we have fine together, and have similar values. He is everything I wanted when I was 25! But he found me when I was almost 32. Since then I have been forced to learn to adjust to having a partner through compromise, compassion, and understanding. Somehow within this time I also ended up moving in with him, which is also new for me because I was a commitment-phobe who only lived with friends and family. But even though we were progressing in our relationship, my desire to not have kids or get married had not changed. So imagine my surprise when I found out I was pregnant! 

I found out I was pregnant October 2016, and the doctor confirmed it the day after my birthday when I was 8 weeks. How did get pregnant? Well I kept forgetting to take my pill, and after almost a week of not taking them I decided to wait until the next month and start over. Because I had missed a week in a previous month, then took my pill and ended up spotting for three weeks straight. I hoped to avoid that by starting fresh the next month…. but my period never came. I was so surprised because I didn’t think I could get pregnant that fast, but obviously I could. Neither one of us excepted to become parents at that time, nor were we planning to have kids in the near future. We even had some disagreements because he knew he wanted kids and I was unsure. But when I got pregnant we were both shocked, and pretty much spent the first 11 weeks in denial and trying to decide whether I would have an abortion. I even scheduled an abortion for my 12th week, but at the end of my 11th week I changed my mind. 

What changed my mind was the Down syndrome marker appointment. When I scheduled my abortion, I was unsure if I would go to the marker appointment because I had decided I couldn’t see myself being pregnant or a mom. But I decided to go anyway because I already had the appointment. Since I had no idea what occurred in the appointment, I didn’t know there would be a sonogram. During that sonogram unlike my 8 week sono, I saw a real baby. My baby had a head, body, arms, legs, and hands. I saw this baby moving around and throwing herself all over my belly, and it was the cutest thing I had ever seen in my life and I knew I couldn’t abort her. This is why I decided to keep her, and how I decided to become a mom.

So now here I am 29 weeks pregnant anxiously awaiting the day to meet my little ladybug, hoping I made the right decision while being afraid of how my life is about to completely change forever. *Please excuse any grammar, or spelling error. Since this will serve as mine online journal, there will be very little proofreading.*